My Family Storm

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Everyone is in a storm, every family has a storm and you struggle with an internal storm. No one can escape the storm and its force is pummeling families.

Although no one escapes the impact of storm the good news is that the perfect family storm may have perfect lessons for you and your family members to learn. The lessons may come from the struggle, pain, and conflict, which can provide us with an opportunity for self-examination of our own behavior, which is the first step in healing our emotional wounds and necessary for mending our family relationships.

Communicate with honesty and listen with an open heart.  Share your storm stories on Facebook page.

 

Share your family storm with others.  You are not alone.

12 thoughts on “My Family Storm

  1. A friend of mine reports, my husband and the kids are constantly on their iPhone, Blackberry and iPads. I can never seem to get their attention. I ask them to do chores I get ignored. I have asked about not bringing electronics to the table I get ignored. I try to have a conversation in the car I get ignored. I have to text my kids even when they are in the house. How can I become visible and heard? Martha, PA

    • Text them a message that says that you are not doing laundry or cooking until some agreements or rules can be set for appropriate usage of all electronics. They probably won’t believe you at first. When they want things from you respond in a text message: Are you ready to to have a family meeting and agree to rules around use of phones, computers and etc? Clean clothes and food are very good ways to get the attention of your family. Dr. Cathy

  2. Everyone I talk to is having similar concerns with pre-teen and teenagers and their gadgets, Including ME! It seems all my son wants is the ipod, I take it away, then he behaves, earns it back and then he is nasty when I ask him to hand it over so he can focus on other things (school work, dinner, sleep…) Is there a happy medium somewhere? It almost seems as though he is better off completely without it…?

    • Limiting time on electronics is a must. Try a dry erase board where you can post agreed upon times that the ipod/gadget may be used.
      For example; after chores, after homework. There should be no electronics at least one hour before bed time. When the ipod is to be given back (bed time, before school, etc…) there should not be a fight. If there is no cooperation, a consequence should follow. Perhaps one day with out the electronic. Work with the child to agree upon reasonable time frames, consequences, etc. And visually POST the rules. It always helps when you have a visual to fall back on.

  3. My child is suddenly worrying a lot that something bad is going to happen to me (mom) This is causing difficulty focusing, sleeping, interacting. How can I calm him down?

    • Never tell your child that nothing is ever going to happen to you. Instead focus on the positives, give her/him things to look forward to. If your child has a cell phone, tell them to check in with you periodically to alleviate worry. Always be where you say you will be and when, be reliable and follow a schedule. Let them know that your family is working towards a healthy lifestyle and that is the most important thing to focus on. Encourage healthy eating and outdoor activities together as a family.

  4. My child talks back constantly and always has to have the last word. It is infuriating to say the least. This usually turns into shouting matches and nothing is resolved. The behavior continues.

  5. Talking back is common in children with ADHD, BPD and/or ODD, and it is also common in pre-teens and teenagers. The child may feel as though they can not control certain things in their life so they use this type of defiance to be in control. It becomes a habit and is very difficult to break. The best thing you can do when your child talks back, argues or bickers is not to react Engaging them will only escalate the situation and give the child more control. Sometimes you will have to bite your tongue and it is not easy. After the child has talked back, argued, gotten the last word, calmly tell them that their behavior is not positive and that it angers others, especially those in authority, which results in negative interactions. Remind them that they must control themselves and practice accepting instructions from others – without comment. When you child willingly does something without an argument (and they do – SOMETIMES) acknowledge this and thank them for being cooperative. Explain how much easier the situation was without the argument.

  6. I have a close friend in hospice and my father is in the hospital. I feel like I am being pulled apart and between visiting them both (in different facilities and towns) I’m very run down.
    The problem I have is feeling guilty when I take some time for myself. How do I combat the feeling that I am abandoning one, or the other or both?

    • It makes sense that you would feel guilty, but the reality is you have to take care of yourself so that you can be there for your friends and family. Try not to commit to visiting every day, it can be too much. Stay in touch other ways and try to schedule your visits when others aren’t visiting so the visitors are spread out, this way there won’t be 10 people on Monday and no one on Tuesday. Your friends and family appreciate what you are doing. Good luck with everything and wishing you the best.

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